You can also check out Dave's Diary here.

Afghanistan 2006

April 12, 2006

We were told to be ready to fly to Afghanistan at 6:30 AM. Considering there is a country band here called Gina Notrica that has been trying to get a flight out of here for a week, we weren’t that convinced.
After a great night sleep and a pretty good breakfast, they said 7:30, then we were ready and they said 8:30.

From the terminal, which is a tent where soldiers sit waiting for flights, we took a school bus to our plane. It was a C-17 jet. We sat in that school but for 45 minutes waiting for a lot of problems to be solved with the jet.

Then it started snowing. It was hot yesterday. Today it's snowing.

Finally, we boarded the plane. The plane is basically a hollowed out 747 and the seats are in 4 rows that run the length of the body. it's like sitting in the cargo area but there's nothing above you.

The pilots are high up like in a normal jet. They have to climb a ladder to get up there.

We were riding with American kids on their way to Afghanistan to start their one year tour of duty. They have their M-16s with them and some also carry assault rifles. They were all in pretty good spirits, considering. They seem more concerned about doing things right than anything else, even getting on the plane.

We sat there for 45 minutes freezing and no one nudged or complained really.

The hundred or so weapons didn't really pose a problem for in-flight safety actually. Even the guy directly opposite me who's muzzle was inadvertently pointed at me the entire 2 hour flight didn't really bother me.

Some girls I met told me they don't like carrying their ammo all the time because it chafes their legs.

So far we are really far away from any kind of battle related activity.

The flight was pretty exciting, but I have to say it wasn't as fun as the prop planes we used last time, but it was fast. The tactical landing into Saddam International is a little wilder.

We flew south from Kyrgystan straight across Uzbekistan landing at the multinational air base at Bargram near Kabul. It was about 55 degrees Fahrenheit.

Our military contact is known as "Gibby." he and a guy named Barry greeted us at the terminal and showed us our digs. It's basically a bunk house with a couch and TV with a DVD player.
We were told that our mission is to just play two shows here on the 11th and the 13th in a place called the clam shell. Someone asked if we have "2 sets" This is a bad sign. First it means we are not going to any forward operating bases. That's where the action is, that's where the soldiers are the most bummed. That's here we can do the most good. No f.o.b.s also means no helicopters.

Evidently there is too much bad stuff going on in the places we should be playing. Or they hate us. The country band we met yesterday didn't even get to come in here so I guess it could be worse.

Today is Palm Sunday but I got here too late to do anything about that.
The chow here seems better than in Kyrgystan but I'm sure that will wear off.

There was a card game and some Caddy Shack from Austin's iPod. Then sleep.

Some very real phenomenon makes you have to pee about 4 times the volume of whatever you drank here. If you don't fall asleep soon enough, you have to get up and go again This really messes your night up because the toilets are really far away.

In an attempt to break this cycle, at 3 am I got up and went to the Dragon Palace rec area and used the Internet; painfully slow. Sidekick is so far not working at all.

Unlike our Iraq trip, one can hear no fighting in the distance. In Iraq, we heard gun fire and mortar explosions throughout the night typically. This place has less gunfire noise than L.A.

You often meet soldiers that want to go where the action is, where it's dangerous. I get it now. Action and danger make the time go by infinitely faster. As I'm writing this, I've been in Afghanistan less than 48 hours and it seems like a week.

I was in Iraq for 9 days, there was action all over the place, and it was a blur.

April 11, 2006

We arrive at the Base which is about 50 yards from the airport. Chow is not as good as in the Middle East. The PX is not as good either.

There are some amazing mountains though, visible from any part of the base. Someone said they were part of the Himalayas? Our accommodations are excellent; way better than Iraq or Kuwait.

Today is Saturday and our first show is advertised for Sunday night in a large tent they call Pete's Place that actually has beer. This is a treat.

At about 2 PM Sargeant Jamie, one of handlers, called the room Warren and I were sharing and told me there was a change of plans. We would fly out tomorrow to Afghanistan, so we have to play tonight.

The army has a way of making things complicated. We are totally prepared for this kind of stuff so we roll with it.

After Air force Bingo, we played a set to a couple hundred Air Force and
Army soldiers, shortened somewhat by the fact that we had been traveling for 36 hours with no rest and singers can't really sing a lot of songs after something like that. It was Saturday night and this day started Thursday morning in L.A.

After the show we signed some CDs and our new military style photos that have girls on them (for the soldiers, ya know) and the colonel came up to us and presented us with some coins for the Kyrgyzstan Manas Air Force Operation. That is always the best and well appreciated. I'm sure I can make my grandkids believe that these are my war medals some day.
hahaha.

Each soldier may drink 2 beers per day here so they try to make them count. They have some nasty Russian Beer called "9" that is supposed to be the strongest. Byron drank as many of those as he could get his hands on to wash down his Valium prescription.

According to Dave, he cleaned his room at midnight, played "air ukulele" then passed out only to fallout of his top bunk later and shout the time of day at every hour. Singer needs a new room mate or our sets are going to be getting shorter and shorter.

April 7, 2006
I'm sitting on a plane in Heathrow waiting to take off to Kyrgyzstan, via Armenia. Kind of like a plane full of Borats plus an Armenian jr. high adventure trip from Glendale, California. Evidently the Armenians are a proud people. Warren took an Ambian and drank too much wine on the flight from LA and developed something called James Carvell Syndrome. He slept with his eyes open and wriggled around like a serpent.

The kids sang the Armenian National Anthem at the landing. A stream of unwashed flight breath also swept through the cabin at that time.

When we arrived in Kyrgyzstan, it was confirmed that #1 this is a country and #2 it is made up of cute little Chinese mountain people with Russian accents.

We have been traveling for 36 hours. The band is me, Dave Quackenbush, Warren Fitzgerald and Byron from Pennywise on drums. The crew is Aaron Lisi, Austin Brown, and Diony Sepulveda. Our guide is named Fab.

This is our 2nd trip to battle areas to entertain the troops. The last one to Iraq was the most amazing experience of our careers. We are hoping for a similar trip..

There is really no way to email pictures from here so for the time being these sidekick updates will be text only. Please check back later when I can get the pictures up.

XDeathstarx at Monster Garage Oct. 7, 2005

xDEATHSTARx, the latest signing to our Hardcore label "Broken Sounds Records" will soon be a household name after last Friday's episode of Monster Garage airs a couple months from now. The 8 piece band with
4 lead singers showed up to the garage and absolutely killed it.
Everyone there saw what we saw in them when we went after them. It was an all Midget build of a mini-truck and xDeathstarx just absolutely rattled the place to it's core. Jesse James had an ear to ear grin and even jumped into the mosh pit with the greasy midgets.
You will not believe what you see when this thing airs.

They made such an impression that I would not be surprised if they end up on Jesse's No Love party at West Coast Choppers on November 12th. Last year 18,000 people showed up for this free event so keep your fingers crossed and put it on your calendar and come out get a dose of xDeathstarx. You wont be sorry.

We would play the No Love party but someone in our band is on tour with Gwen Stefani. Yes I'm a little jealous.

Jason in yer face	Jesse makes Fire
lil' Ryan	Live in Garage
midgets at work!	Ryan Corey & Beejay
The whole band

Vans Warped Habitat For Humanity Project. Sept 29, 2005

Today I went with Daryl Eaton from CAA and Kevin Lyman (co-founders of the Warped Tour) to help initiate a project for Habitat For Humanity where Vans Warped Tour donated $300,000 to help build houses for hurricane victims.

That's a lot of money and what a great Company. Check it out on Good Morning America tomorrow, Sept 30 on NBC. You will see super cool Steve Van Doren present the giant check and you might get a glimpse of me, pro skaters Christian Hosoi and Neal Hendrix, Kurt and Matt from Vans, and Kevin and Daryl finish and then tear down a prefabricated house frame and load it into a truck.
In two weeks someone will be living in that house somewhere near the gulf. That kicks ass, even if they will be shooting an episode of Cops there in three weeks, it still feels good. (Sorry, I've been in 90 degree heat with a hammer and an apron for hours and I don't know what I'm saying.)

The Warped Tour gets bigger and bigger every year, but so do their hearts.

If you would like to help the Habitat For Humanity like Vans did, just invent a really cool shoe and then start writing checks. Or go to their web site and pick up a hammer.

I cannot tell you how much giant checks kick ass. You see them on tv at bowling tournaments and in the paper all the time, but there's nothing like rubbing up right next to one in person.

Almost Gone...	Giant Checks Kick Ass!!!
Half Gone...	House is gone!
Kevin & Steve's nail magnate	Loading Truck

August 20, 2005 CBGB's Benefit Show

What an honor to be asked to play one of these benefit shows! Tickets were a little steep, but it was a good cause and? sold out in advance, so we were not only grateful to CBGB's for inviting us to participate, we are grateful to all the people who came from all over the world to see this show. Even though CB's is a small place, it was probably one of the best New York shows we have had in a city we've been returning to over and over for decades. But judging by the crowd, we don't go there enough.

Even though the Vandals act like they don't care about anything, we all agreed that this was a cause for which it is worth fighting. NYC doesn't need another American Eagle Outfitters, or a Build-A-Bear. We need to keep places like CBGB's. Things disappear, and change, and you gotta move on, I know, but it would be nice if this place could stick around because it is actually an agent of change as new music comes through it's doors.

Speaking of new music, I want to thank our fans for embracing our new CD "Hollywood Potato Chip" because now that it's been out long enough to sink in, it's really great to see the reaction to those songs. One of the things that keeps the Vandals going is that our fans are rabid for new music. Sure they will kill us if we don't play older songs like "My Girlfriend's Dead" but the reaction to the new stuff is what inspires us to keep going. For us to be this old and to have this much success with our new material is rare. We feel very lucky to have these fans and we appreciate all of them. Next time I do one of these reports I'm going to put the set list on here so you can see what we played if you weren't there.

It was a long set. and thanks to Josh Freese for sticking it out with his smashed finger. he smashed it playing for DEVO the week before, also in NYC, but he was able to still play like the champ that he is.

Speaking of NYC, that place is still fun to go to. For us, this weekend was just a fun trip for the four of us, what Jim Guerinot calls our "men's club," to go to New York and hang out together. We didn't play a lot of shows this summer with Josh touring with Sting and everything, so this was nice.

Dave and I flew from L.A. on Friday night and you must check out the size of our video screen on our "benefit friendly" coach seats on American Airlines(below). Josh was already in Manhattan and Warren had to fly in late because he was engineering all the pre-production for the new New Found Glory record that will come out next year. He's been living in some gnarly mansion in malibu helping them get their songs together. It sounds great by the way. Warren is very talented and versatile, even with his clothes on.

When we arrived Friday Night we ate at L'Express at 249 Park Avenue which is becoming one of my favorite restaurants anywhere. It's French, good, and open 24 hours and it was walking distance from our hotel, the Carlton at 88 Madison Avenue, which is nice, but will be better when their lounge is completed. If you want an amazing bottle of wine, order the Cotes du Borg at L'Express.

The next day we slept a lot and had some pizza down the street which was good then we all went to sound check, which doesn't always happen. Oh yeah, the drummer from Santana hung out in front of our hotel all weekend, which was weird, but he was very nice. Josh knew him of course.?

In front of CBGB's there are people taking pictures all day, and buying t shirts next door. It's crazy. Warren and I went to buy a soda and ran into some trouble because we turned left out the door. Note to you: turn right if you want anything in this neighborhood. If you turn left you enter the restaurant equipment district and there is nothing but something called "dough retarders." We have not played at CBGBs in a long long time so we don't know the bowery. We usually play at Irving Plaza, or Randals Island on Warped, or Nassau Coliseum opening for No Doubt or something.

But like I said, this show might have been the best ever. These fans were there to see us and they paid a lot and they flew in from all over to support the cause. It was just a great mood in there and it was one of those times that make you feel lucky to be in your band, and lucky to be appreciated by true fans.

After the show, I followed Danny Masterson and TK from Indie 103.1 to a club called I forget, and when I saw the people waiting in line, I forgot to go in. Instead we went to Niagra Bar on 7th St and Ave A for the usual comfortable routine which was pleasant. John Bush is still there, still pouring the drinks. Say hi to him. Everyone there is nice.

The next day I woke up and looked out the window and it was "India Day" with all the parades and stuff. Pretty fun. I practiced the bass for a few hours because I have 190 more songs to learn for the Sweet And Tender Hooligans www.sweetandtenderhooligans.com.
If you haven't seen my other band yet, you are in for an amazing experience, I?guarantee you. Come to Disneyland with us on October 30th and see us later that night at the House Of Blues Anaheim with a Cure tribute band AND a Misfits tribute band!?

After the bass work, we ate at the Celestial Gardens in China Town on I forgot street. I apologize. It was good, even if I don't like dim sum.? Carlos recommended it. He is on tour in Europe with Hot Hot Heat, but you can still call him from anywhere around the world and ask him where to eat. God bless him.

That night, Warren went back to Malibu and Dave, Josh, and I went to this cowboy bar near our hotel called I forgot. it was fun. We met the original Brown Skeleton, after which the famous drink was named.

next day we went to an unusually expensive korean barbecue and? flew home. We made no money, it all went to the cause, but it was one of the most satisfying trips ever. If you can hook it up, you should play at CBGB on a sold out Saturday night as well. It kicks ass and I recommend it.
www.savecbgb.org

The Smallest Screen	Santana Drumer
Warren and Dave Live	Warren And Dave
Dough Retarders	India Day Parade

O.C. Fair, Pacific Ampitheater, July 28, 2005


I haven't written a sidekick update in a long time so I'm out of practice and this update is being written weeks after the show. Sorry

We played our first ever county fair show. The Orange County fair was awesome. It was a big part of Dave, warren, and josh's lives growing up and they were thrilled to play it.

It pays well too. I don't like to talk about money here but we came home with more? money for that one show than we made all summer long last year on the main stage at the warped tour. Keep the fairs coming, I say. The crowd was great.

The show was very well run and the line up was perfect. Goldfinger played first to bring in those types, we played 2nd to bring in our types, then flogging molly played to bring in the drunks.

Indie 103.1 had a booth and I "appeared" there to meet and greet radio listeners as an Indie "radio personality." Can you believe it? That was fun. If you don't already know, I have a radio show now on Indie 103.1 fm in l.a. Every friday at 11 am p.s.t. I give out show business legal advice to callers. It is a blast. You can listen on the web too at www.indie103.1.fm.

It was also fun to play in the ampitheater where I saw run dmc and the beastie boys when I was wee.

My friend Lauren Mcconnell from Pittsburgh came to the show too. I think she had a good time but her friend jacqui was a little? upset that she didn't get to meet tommy lee. I tried to tell her that josh played on the last crue record so she should get on that. she wasn't having it.

There were a lot of people from my high school there. Lauren was frightened because once you look at a girl that I went to high school with it immediately becomes apparent how old I am. It was horrifying. Lauren still hasn't gotten over it.

What a great show, though. I hope we play this fair every year. Or any fair. It was my first time there because growing up I spent my summers at a camp called mountain meadow ranch and I would go to the lassen county fair.
That's why I'm weird.

After the fair we went to the Paul Frank andy warhol party. I've always thought Andy warhol was pretty lame. I still do. Paul frank is rad though. We hung out with rob dubar and joined davy havoc on the dance floor. Davy is happier than you or me by the way.

There was a big photo set up at the party. Austin hasn't coughed up the fotos but we took tons so check back later to witness the magic.
Next up: CBGB's benefit in nyc.
www.barelylegalradio.com


Athens, Greece - Feb 15, 2005

At least its warmer here. We arrived in the evening on Valentines Day. Sandra met me here because this is one of the few spots in the world we've never been to.

We went to a place called Pio Poule for a fancy Valentines dinner with a view of the Acropolis. This place didn't get swinging until about 11 pm because the Greeks eat late. If you come to Athens , and you shouldn't really feel compelled to do so, watch out for packs of wild dogs and packs of wandering Gypsies.

I kid about the Gypsies. They are not a problem. But the dogs; do you want to come here? Well I don't know, the ruins are very cool but do you want to visit a city that can't control its wild dog population? They don't seem to bite but it's super sketch. Why dogs? Packs of wild monkeys or Clydesdales would be way cooler. From what I understand, the thing to do here is go to an Island during the summer. That is supposed to be great. Athens in the winter is a different experience. All the more reason people should have a little sympathy for what we go through to play shows for people in far corners of the world.

Greek TV: put it this way, after dinner we watched the Wedding Planner, with Greek subtitles. This language can't even remotely be figured out. Our hotel was the Eridanus and was really nice and walking distance to the Acropolis.

The next day we were in the lobby by 11:30 at the appointed time for a scheduled site seeing tour. Neither our tour manager nor the promoter rep showed up so by noon we gave up and did our own tour of the ancient Greek ruins with Chase and Aaron.

We saw everything in Athens . It's all great and well worth a day trip here. You've seen it in books. I went to college. I was deep into it for many years and it was great to walk around in it.

Now for the bad news. There has been an organized boycott against our Athenian show for a while but at least from the promoter's point of view it died down enough when I issued a statement declaring we have no political objectives when we perform in war zones.

It's the same old story, a political movement using a music scene to create blind hatred. Sound familiar? We have it in America too but not enough people are dumb enough to buy into it here. When you dig into it, they are really only mad over the amount of money they will never have and their perception of how materialistic and wealthy Americans are.

If they wanted to protest me for my house in the hills with the gnarly pool, I would say right on Cyklops! You go Hellen! I have something you think you will never have so come at me from the bottom of the hill with your swords! But to stand between our music about girls selling corn dogs and the punk fans that want to see us perform to further political views of any kind is just desperation. The money lost will prevent the promoters from bringing more music to your country for a long time.

You are desperate fools and I don't really know what you pretend your political gripes are but whatever they are, you are so stupid I'm sure they are wrong to the core. But we all know it's our swimming pools that you are really after. You want to take them over for the people and turn them into proper grafiti canvases and sell unlicensed Bob Marley flags out of them. Just admit it and stop pretending you have a coherent and noble cause.

Before the soundcheck the owner of the club gave us some safety briefing about what to expect from the protestors who were pledging to start fights with us at the show. He said he had hired some extreme security forces to escort us at all times during the concert. The opening band, Vodka Juniors, had already pulled out of the show. My first instinct was to declare Vodka Juniors the biggest pussies I've ever heard of, but as the night grew on, it was unclear. Maybe they knew what they were doing and didn't want to die. Thanks for your bold support Vodka Juniors, can't wait to get your demo. Since writing this Vodka Juniors has contacted me and told me they had a good reason to cancel, although they wouldn't tell me what it was yet. I will give them the benefit of the doubt and I will not pass judgment on them. Can't wait to hear the demo, though.

During sound check the owner of the club interrupted us to tell us that things were getting very ugly outside the club which was called "An." He showed us some protest material. Like the flyers in Milan , it contained lies about us. Here's a tip for all you progressive punkers out there. If your movement has to tell lies, you are going nowhere and you are worse than anything you are trying to tear down. When I see my picture on something with a dead baby and prisoner abuse, I know I am dealing with losers and it just makes me want to do whatever will piss them off in the future.

After a little while longer he said the show was cancelled. Then it started to get weird. There were a couple hundred people outside threatening us, the club and our famlies with knives, chains, and sticks, etc if we played our music. The security said there were an additional 500 "peace protestors" at a nearby park waiting to ambush as soon as the violence started with an attack on us in front of the club. Here's your peace movement.

We were then under seige for about 2 hours. The security couldn't get us safely out of the building. There was only one way in and out of this basement like night club.

This got uncomfortable because we couldn't really tell what was happening because all the discussions were going on in Greek. My wife was there too which made it even more uncomfortable for me.

Every once in a while they would tell us some information about what was going on outside but we felt pretty powerless. Thre was no back door or anything. It got to the point that we started to worry about exactly how far all these people would go to protect us. They had no reason to risk their lives really.

At one point I sent a message to my assistant in L.A. to have her call the American embassy in Athens because it was weird to us that the promoter and the club were telling us that we would be beaten to death if we walked outside the club, but no one would call the police. None of us had cell service in the club but the data on my Sidekick was working.

The only fun thing that happened was that at the peak of tension (we were all pretty nervous due to our helplessness and sitting duck situation) I jumped on a big balloon that exploded with the sound of a hand granade. The owner of the club came running out of the back to see what happened. It freaked out everyone so I felt bad but I flew a long way to perform in Greece and I think I deserved a little fun. I apologize to everyone who thought they were going to die at that moment. I must admit though it was a pretty amazing sound. I have no idea what that balloon was doing there, but it was ripe.

Then someone banged on the door and Warren said it was the protestors offering us a giant horse as a peace offering. Nervous laughter.

After being in there for two hours, a shuttle bus pulled up and they said they could get us out of there if we hurried. They had convinced enough of the people to go home, and they refunded all the ticket money. It was a very strange but efficient exit with very brave security guys securing a clear escape route. They were even jogging outside the vehicle until we got to the main thoroughfare. It was very secret service like.

After almost getting beat to death in the name of Greek peace we still had to eat, so I took Sandra to this place called Ancient Tastes (looks like APXAIWN in Greek) that served authentic 3rd century b.c. Greek cuisine.

It looked like where Xena and Gabrielle would eat if they went on a proper date. Everything was prepared according to research on ancient cooking. No forks, that's a little something called Hellenic tough love. You will eat your salad and wild boar chops with a spoon and like it. The waiters and waitresses looked like star trek carachters.

The food was amazing.

All in all I feel sorry for the punk scene in Greece and Europe if they are to be held hostage by people with such small brains. It's not just the punk scene when you consider how many Italian radio stations actively tried to further the boycott against us. These are once proud countries and now they are so debilitated by political factions the best they can hope for in life is to hope that they can join the EU and be on the Euro.

Since posting this the first time, I've received a lot of whining from Greeks about things I've said. I am sorry if I offended any of you but we went to a lot of trouble to come to your city to play music and we were almost killed by people in your punk scene. My wife was also a target. The fallout from this is your problem. Your punk scene tried to kill me and I made it home. If you are mad at someone, be mad at the people with the knives and chains. Don't be mad at me. There's no happy ending here. Everyone got screwed. Don't look to me to paint it over with an understanding brush. I'm still a little mad about the situation.

It made me happy to be back in America and sadly I have become very unsympathetic to these protestors' (on the surface) quite noble political causes now that I've faced the idiots behind them and experienced what is really beyond the peace signs.

When we deplaned there was a security situation because they wanted to question someone on our flight. Turns out I knew the people. They were on an Iranian watch list and we had played the girls 16th birthday party about 15 years ago. She was just a little punker back then. She was in Europe protesting the Iranian Government. Weird

I will close with a letter pointing out the Greek version of what happened in Athens . The people who broght us there were fans. They were great people with vision and this is how they see it.


"As a Kung Fu Street Team member in Athens and alongtime Vandals fan i would like to Apologize and express my disgust on behalf of everyone that went to
the show, only to find outside the club 30-40 people holding bats, chains and knives trying (and ultimately ucceeding) to shut the place down. The people that where there to listen to good music and enjoy the show, were A LOT more than those who didn't. But people went to the show to have fun, not a confrontation with "anarchists" (that's what they call themselves) with lives so empty and meaningless they'll jump on every chance to make other people miserable. Did those "anarchists" know who the Vandals are?
Probably never heard of them before. Did they even read why the Vandals played in Iraq ? Most definitely not, they are too stuck up to consider another opinion
and anyway, they're single digit IQ doesn't really allow them to read. They just heard of the words Vandals and Iraq , and all the processing their little brain was able to do was: Vandals + Iraq = Mass murdering capitalist who eat babies alive. You should not be angry at these people, just be sorry for them. Unfortunately on February 15th, they got it their way. Once again i would like to apologize on behalf of the many people over here that love the Vandals and really wanted to see a good show, and ask the band to consider visiting Athens sometime in the future, when the whole Iraq deal is forgotten. The actions of these people do not, and never will represent the majority, just keep in mind that the Vandals and everyone in the Kung Fu family will always be welcome in Greece ."

Name withheld.

Protest Flier
Classical Sandra	Getting My Parthenon
More Acropolis	More Parthenon
Original Greek Theatre	What They Really Want

Den Bosch, Holland - Feb 13, 2005

We had to get up at 10 am to be at the FM Radio 3 station in time to perform 3 songs and do some interview segments with a national radio personality named Eric. This is the biggest National radio station for rock music and it was a big coup for Lenneke at Kung Fu Europe to get us on the show.

When you first enter this building you are confronted with a shrine to the deceased founder of the station, Bert De Graff. He is kind of like a freaky deaky Dutch version of Emanual Lewis.

This was like being on a radio version of TRL. There are millions of listeners to this show. We played 3 songs did an interview, answered some quiz quetions and then took some questions from the studio audience, and we were the only guests. The Dutch band Cooper lent us their equipment so we could do two performances in one day. In between segments the station played music from George Michael and Kylie Manogue, etc.

It was a lot of fun, so why don't we do more of this kind of stuff?
Maybe it's because our singer feels compelled to do things like insult the host on the air about the kind of music this mainstream station plays. It was early in the day so he was running more on instincts than anything else. Oh well. We like being tiny.

Eric was very cool and it was an honor to be on his show. It's not the first time he has helped us.
You can listen to this show next sunday morning Feb. 20 at 11 am Dutch time or something like that on the Radio 3 web site. I think its fm3.nl but check kungfurecords.com for the exact info.

After this we sped off to the venue in Den Bosch for our matinee performance. This was a sold out show and a great way to end our time on the continent. Den Bosch is Dutch for "The Bosch." It was a great crowd. You could tell they didn't care about politics. They knew what The Vandals are all about. The rest of Europe could learn a lot from these kids and the Belgians.

Last we had to say good bye to the Kung Fu Europe staff and pack up our stuff to move out of the bus. Then we spent the night at the Sheraton Brussels to catch our morning flight to Athens. We're getting tired.

Joe & Eric FM 3	Joe, Dave & Warren
Lookalike?	Tatu?
Vandals Show

Peer Belgium - Feb 12, 2005

After all the places we have been on this tour and the last, seeing Belgium on the map doesn't seem that exciting but this place is a sleeper. It will surprise you.

However, this tour has been so long or seemed so long I didn't feel like walking around the town to see yet another European church. Luckily they had the courtesy to put one right across the street from the venue, The Porthuis. It's basically a civic auditorium.

After sound check we had a really cool vegan meal cooked by famous punk photographer Cindy Frey. Cindy is an institution here and it was great to eat her food, sign her book, and look at her portfolio.

You can look at her portfolio too. www.pbase.com/cindyphotography There are a crazy amount of pictures here to look at.

This turned out to be the best show of the tour for all the bands.
Underminded was sold out of merchandise before they even played. The Godawfuls made the crowd go crazy and the auditorium was packed. Today was Mike from the Godawfuls birthday as well. His went better than mine in Vienna.

Our show was crazy and Quackenbush was so touched he came up with a new ending to our set that included the sound of music's "So Long Farewell."

Dave didn't get to bed until 9 30 that morning which is the exact time we had to wake up for our big radio show in the morning so he took some sleeping pills to get back on schedule. He became hilariously loopie and had to be moved to the bus by wheel chair. Luckily there was one.

After the show I spoke with some Belgian kids. They were all cool. They have a great scene here. Matthias and Ben said they read my Sidekick Journal everyday, so here's a picture of them!

How do I take such rad live photos with my Sidekick while I'm on stage?
If you have been to one of these shows, you know my secret.

With dave sacked out early,watching the first Austin Powers in the bus on the way back to Holland was like having your parents out of town.

Cindy & Joe	Happy B Day Mike
Joe From Underminded Laughing Out Loud	Kevin From Godawfuls Checks Himself
Super Fans Mathias & Ben	The Venue
Vandals Live From Belgium	Cindys Nephey Seth
Peer

Hamburg - Feb 11, 2005

Club Fabrik: Played here once in 1989, and once with the Offspring in 1997. Now again. They have one of those "smoke 'em if you got 'em day care operations here during the day. Kids everywhere.

I walked with Derek to the nearest pedestrian center and had traditional food and a berliner, which is a better version of a donut.

If you're my age you just love the anecdote where JFK says "ich bin ein berliner" which he thought meant that he is a Berlin resident, just like his audience, but it really meant "I am a Donut."

Warren thought he got that mixed up with his "ask not what your country can do for you" speech.

Warren's walking around saying "I am a donut, what can you do for me?"
they're giving him the key to the city.

This show was like all of our German shows lately, full of very strange people. People you thought were there by accident, til they started singing along. We played some extra weird songs for them like soccer mom. If you ever play here say hi to Jenny the monitor lady. We tortured her a bit I think we made her laugh once.

The evening almost ended here but I felt bad that the first timers were not going to experience the real Hamburg so I sprang for a couple cabs to take the opening bands to the Reeperbahn. This is the street in Hamburg that is like Amsterdam, Tijuana, and Las Vegas all rolled into one.

Whatever you desire is here. The main brothel is called the Love House or Love something and it's a 4 level gauntlet that I'm pretty sure you can't get aids from just walking through and that is free. I told the kids what happens at the Reeperbahn stays on the internet.

To make a long story short, many had fun. Not me of course. I was just the instigator. We ended up at a bar called 20 Flight Rock, very cool rockabilly bar. The owner yelled vandals suck as we walked by so I figured it was cool, and it was. Make this your local punk rock bar if you are ever in Hamburg.

If you want the real stories you are going to have to ask the kids themselves.

Inside Fabrik	Vandals Live In Hamburg
Fabrik	Hamburgs Roddy Knockoff

Christiana - Copenhagen, Denmark Feb. 10, 2005

Christiana. This place is a piece of work. You should really check it out at christiana.org or something because it is freaky deaky danish.
It's like the biggest, most famous, and most legit squat in the world.
It's a "squatmunity" if you will.

It was taken over about 30 years ago and it's massive. It's a city within a city. They have night clubs restaurants, movies, day care, etc.
They sell hash and mushrooms and that may eventually be their downfall, but it's the perfect setting for a punk show because the kind of freedom that punks thrive on can definitely be found here.

I disagree with the entire premise on which the squat system is based but when they get a good one going it's pretty impressive. There's nothing like it on earth. It's 1960s utopianism in action.

Copenhagen has come to terms with this place so the Loppen runs like a legit club here and people really enjoy themselves here. Just the fact that it's the only place you can smoke in a club is lapped up by the customers.

I'm not a smoker but I love the fact that this place ads some freedom to some peoples lives. You can see them enjoying it, and even though its not my thing it's heartwarming to witness.

Don't get me wrong, there's a dark side to this situation but fortunately, the Vandals, Underminded, and the Godawfuls only get the good parts. We're in and out and grateful.

Chris from the Godawfuls and I walked around Pushers Row for a while. No pictures are allowed in this section so you will have to see it for yourself in person some day.

Later we all ate an amazing meal at one of the squat's finest restaurant collectives, the Spiseloppen. I had Venison. It was cheap because it's a collective and we got a discount thanks to our friend Adam, King Of All Euro Pirates. The restaurant is a novelty to the upper class of Copenahgen and the place was full of parties of 20 or 30 or more enjoying the now anarchistic novelty of smoking at your table.

Our show was very crowded and very crazy. The sound on stage was a mess but that was our fault for not sound checking. All the bands had good shows tonight. There was a naked guy in the pit for a while, un circumcised. He later demanded a free shirt for this which I didn't understand.

My friend Francis Soares from Portugal came to the show too. He broght me some good bullfight mags from Spain and a Russian Navy badge. He works for Spanair so he can fly to see us whenever he wants.

After the show I spoke with some Danish people etc. They were all pretty cool. One guy sweeping the floor had a complete suit made of really hairy goat skin or something. I've seen these people at Ralphs wearing this stuff when they come to Hollywood.

I joined the poker game (with Aaron, Dave, and Warren) on the bus for the first time ever, and I won the whole thing. I am a winner.

Actual Load In Methof	Christiana Exterior
Christiana Interior	Club Loppen
Dave @ Spisselloppen	Derek Drum Solo
Exit Warning	Godawfuls Christiana
King Of All Pirates	Pit Of Shame
Shame Of The Lounge Scrounge	Spisselloppen
Their Own Currency	Underminded Christiana
Vandals Live @ Christiana	Welcome To Anarchy
Winner & New Champ

Essen - Feb 8, 2005

I am still sick so I stayed in the bus all day until Sound check. It was our first sound check of the tour because the Tour started with Dave's lryngitis, then everyone stayed lazy. I like sound checking and I think it is important. Even the sound man doesn't support me in this.

I watched L.A. Confidential and Donnie Darko in the downstairs lounge which is the only place not taken over by Grand Theft Auto, which I have to admit has taken the concept of worthless activities to a totally new level. My favorite character in Donnie Darko is by far Cherita Chen.
L.A. Confidential is perhaps a perfect film, but it would be better if Cherita Chen was in it.

I can barely remember the show at the Zeche Carl because they are starting to blur, it was boring though. I remember that. And I've played here before, so it's getting old. My sidekick was broken too. It was a great day. It froze right after I took this picture of an attempt to use a naked man to sell romantic comedy CDs. This is why warren should just move here.

I went to bed right after the show. They can't all be zingers.

Romantic Comedy Anyone?	The Zeche Carl
Welcome!

Munich, Germany - Day Off Feb 7, 2005

Still really sick. Carlos got me some medicine but it seems to have turned my fever into a fever and a cold.

We all moved into Carlos' suite to have a headquarters because the bus would be picking us up at midnite to go to Essen.

The only thing that helps my sickness is Nurophen +. I took enough to venture out (with Chase, Warren, Carlos, and Derek) to what many consider the most famous drinking establishment in the history of the world, the Haufbrau Haus near Marienplatz.

It's famous because it's been virtually untouched since Hitler held his political rallies here when he was trying to get things going early in his career. In fact, this was the site of his famous "beer hall putsch" where he tried to force a premature government takeover.

There are weird pinwheel swastika shapes on the ceiling. I don't know if they are covering up something or just in poor taste but everything else here is just good old fashioned Octoberfest style.

We ate ok bratwurst and the local beer in big steins. I was here in 89 and I actually saw a man walk in with a Hitler mustache, hair cut, and traditional green baverian suit. Old habits die hard but that look is finally out of style I guess as this time I saw mostly great big fat people. Warren bought a mouse pad at the gift shop and I bought a magnet for my wife's grandma.

There was still Carnivale stuff going on everywhere, especially near the Glockenspeil, the famous clock that luckily didn't get bombed in ww2.

After that Chase and I went to the real place, the Weisses Brauhaus. This is where tough German barmaids dressed in black don't appreciate tourists so we got ready for the treatment. It's worth it here because the beer (Schneiderbrau) and the food are excellent compared to where Hitler ate. He wasn't targeting geniuses remember.

Hitler could never have gotten anything going here. It's too intimidating. It's closer to Harry Potter's "Leaky Cauldren" than anything that actually exists in London. It's spooky, foreign, and old. It's cool, but you just want to get out before something weird happens to you; highly recommended.

Then we went back to the suite to wait for the Blue Dolphin to pick us up. My medicine wore off and I spent hours prostrate regretting ever stepping outside. Everyone else watched the carnivale parade which featured a float of george bush firing a cross shaped gun that said "God bless America" on it. An anti-German float at this year's Rose Parade would probably go over well, huh?

On the way back to the room I noticed two things: #1 our Hotel has a clothing store called "Pirate Style." And #2 our hotel has free dog food lying around at dog level.

Bayerischer Hof Hotel	Doggy Style
Ich Dont Think So	Ich Leibe Parade
Leaky Cauldren	Our Trader Vics
Pirate Style	Thats A Man On The Right I Swear
Glockenspeil

Munich, Germany. Feb 6, 2005

I woke up sick and went straight to the hotel. It's called Bayerischer Hof. That means we are in Baveria. Southern Germany I tried to sleep. CNN international induces sleeping. Europe is afraid of Fox News so CNN pretty much has a lock on all the hotels out here and its usually the only English channel. All stereotypes aside, these people will dub anything.

Since they have a monopoly, it's even worse than CNN USA. The personalities are cadavers and they actually have a show called "Main
Sail: the The World Of Yachting." That is a pity. Worse than that is "Living Golf." How about "Dying Demographic?" losers

But the rest of this hotel is pretty regal. Tapestries, sculptures, ballrooms, rennaissance art, Louis the 14th furniture. And they have a Trader vics. This is my favorite restaurant and I haven't been to this one. I've been to the ones in Hamburg, London, Beverly Hills, Tokyo, and there used to be one in New York. They are like Taco Bells for rich people.

I slept until 7 and then went to Trader Vics with Dave, Carlos, and Derek. You never know where this is going to happen but there was actually a guy in the lobby waiting for us to sign pictures that he had of the band. He was very nice and had some cool pictures. Probably 47 years old.

I ate the almond duck appetizer, some cho cho beef, and some spare ribs and then went to lie down again.

The night club next to Trader Vics where Oasis and their body guards got severely beaten by disco clientelle after a night of drinking. Michael Jackson stayed here but this is not where he dangled the baby. That was in Berlin, where it's quite normal.

The show at the Backstage Club was bizarre. Each German was weirder then the next. And weirder still were the unusual amount of Americans there.

Germany is a nation of Debbie Downers. I mixed with them a bit and heard the traditional insult speak that they do, but there were also a lot of upbeat kind people too. Everyone was strange but they were all having a great time.

Typical conversations I had;
#1 with drunk German dude
German: And how was your show in Salzburg? Not many people I'm afraid, yes?
Joe: Actually, there were a lot of people. It was great.
G: Oh. Do you like the German beer?
J: Do you like bad breath and close talking?

#2 with drunk German punk chick with mohawk and tiny skirt
G: So, why are you playing in Iraq?
J: Our soldiers are stuck there and don't like it, so we try to make it a little better for them.
G: But so many punk rockers are not coming to your show because you play in Iraq and because you love this George Bush.
J: We are not a political band, but you wear lederhosen because you love Hitler.
G: No, I am not wearing the lederhosen. But your army is fascist, yes.
J: You're just worried that we're going to come back in here and stop you from gassing scientologists.
G: I think you don't make sense with these things and I don't think I like these Scientologists.

#3. With Drunk 18 year old german girl
G: so now what do you, make a party?
J: no, we go to sleep.
G: No, you make a party in the back stage room with the naked women and the drinking and crazy things.
J: No, we don't have any of that stuff.
G: No, I will take off my clothes and do these things for you. I need only to go back into this party room.
J: No thank you. Where did my guitar player go?
G: I want guitar. I will do EVERYTHING for it.
J: Sorry, we need it.
G: (German burp) I should not have said this thing.

I was still aching so I wasn't exactly in the mood for this stuf, but you just have to hear it sometimes.

During our set Warren tried to out weird them and conducted the last song, without clothes, from the merch table.

I'm saying a naked bald guy dancing on a table is probably about the most normal thing there is in Deutchland, they barely noticed.

After the show we went back to the hotel where a raging German mardi gras was going on. It was all over Munich actually. Everyone was in cruiseship style masquarade, but the most interesting thing was to hear the people from Berlin ridicule this annual Munich event.

"This is stupid. We tried this once in Berlin. It was not good."
I went to sleep but not until I did about two hours worth of Kung :u computer work. Maybe that's why I'm not getting any better.

Calm Before The Storm	The Freaky Deaky Deutche